T1+Writing

__Tuesday 5 April 2011 - Friday 8 April 2011 __

__W.A.L.T: write an argument using persuasive language features to convince people to visit the Bay of Plenty. __ **__Success criteria__ ** My writing contains an introduction, 3 key arguments and a conclusion I will state and restate my opinion I use a range of language resources and punctuation My paragraphs follow the S E E structur **e **

We want you to came to the Bay of Plenty because we have lots of great things to do and you will enjoy it.The amazing places that we want you to see these places so you can actually see what our lovely place holds in its self like for example wiamarino now thats a place you need to go to if you have been to water world its like that but you are doing all of the activates into a lake not in a pool. thats only one of heaps of things in Bay of Plenty.s

We have heaps of fun places to visit or climb up, like climb up Mount Maunganui or walk the hot sulfur pools and gisers at Te Pua, at Te Pua they have nice smelling hot pools that are good for your lungs.

We have the most helpful people so if you have a problem you just ask nicely and you will get a answer.we have lots of information centers is well if you get lost.But I guaranty you won’t get lost because the Bay has easy road signs, like 900m to Wiamarino.

I believe we have the best weather in new zealand so when its sunny there lots of outdoor stuff to do or if its raining you can still have fun by going to indoor places like The Rock house and Bay wave but thats only in Mount Maunganui part of the Bay of Plenty so we have lots more places for you.

So there you have it, why you should come to the Bay of Plenty, we have good weather and helpful people and last but not lest we have fun places to visit. so I hope you change your mind about the other placers you have heard about decide we have great place and come to the loveliest place to live and have a holiday at the Bay of Plenty.

we also have lots of lovely roads with lots of native trees and views and all of our roads aren't flat so bring a big grunty car like a jeep or a off road car.

Great to see you attempting to use paragraphs in your writing Sam. You now need to focus on structuring them correctly. You have an excellent conclusion that restates you 3 main ideas but you then put in another paragraph that doesn't fit! Your introduction needs to state your 3 main ideas also. Excellent use of personal pronouns and you are beginning to use stronger imperatives to really convince me, well done. You are making good progress with your writing, just remember to include full stops and commas so your sentences don't run on to each other. Overall a good effort Sam. <span style="color: #e01010; font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Kokonor; letter-spacing: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">Miss Crone :)